A controversy has developed about what is known as “feel-good” self-esteem. At the heart of the controversy is the assertion that making oneself or someone else feel “special” by using methods such as looking in the mirror and saying “I am somebody,” doesn’t do any good, and may do harm. One result, say some researchers, is that this type of “self-esteem building” produces “counterfeit positive self-assessment” (Rosemond, 2002) that can set people up for disappointment in the “real world.” This may be especially true for young people, who develop an unrealistic opinion about their “specialness”, only to be disillusioned “when life’s inevitable disappointments present themselves” (Smith & Elliott, 2001). In that disillusionment, kids may turn to alcohol, other drugs, violence, or other unhealthy escapist behavior.    Read more...